Saturday, February 28, 1998

Exhibit A: feb. '98

Exhibit A: Torn page.
Whip out words when regret needs a soapbox. The "never-see-it-again" trick didn't work. Drivel is as foggy minds trip over pen.

In a land that loves me, my old favorite ghost knocks on my chest -- remember this twinge.
Don't forget to fret.
I feel full of monks having a fist-fight with a pile of cotton candy. Emptiness was supposed to dial up that new path. Denial isn't about instant gratification. My emotions talked to too many strangers, my resolve shoots craps with hidden smoky organ hustlers waiting for their inspiration to tell them to go against their instincts. But what are instincts but a bag of paper mache clothes. Identity is not a robe, or a witticism, or a habit (or lack). It's that old ghost.

Sunday, February 15, 1998

untitled prosepome: feb. '98

I don't know who I'm talking to but it's you, again. The next time you feel like getting a 52nd helping please try to cover that snicker coming out your ass. You know that I'm starting to unravel. I think the beginning is when I forget what I paraded to the committees six months ago. I wish to awake in a cold lagoon with a dawn half moon pouring steam down from the turn-off of my heart. I remember everything but it has the nice glass in front of it, or shall we say a blue-lit diagonal shot? The cold nakedness is to be shed of course. At least then I'd have no excuse to be alone and I could wait for a new prediction. That's it, obviously. Time to change lens. This is coming from the person who exposed too much changing lens. The lagoon is appropriately piney, or at least deciduous, I like 5 a.m. to be cold in July. Sorry Chris, I think the Hour of the Wolf has to be sleep induced, but I'll keep checking. The lagoon. No. The silouette, back-lit. I must see breath, see how we use air. You see Ash, the idiot-commonality stalks us all. It's her though, yes I'll stop the third person, can't I pay attention to my other apparitions? No darling, you're not the non-exister, that's just my mental cyst. Every now and again a thought'll bump it. And like a four-piece fold (like Mad Magazine) it'll hide again. No honey, you're the drop in the toilet. It's not my fault, I think I still need you. You're also constantly ahead of tangents followed and spoken. I now understand why mystics and secret societies get along so well. Who wants everybody to like their own favorite song?